Some of my thoughts have been causing me physical pain. It's a deep, cold tightness that grips my heart like a vice. It makes my stomach feel raw and empty. It feels like something is trying to rip my soul from my chest.
My exhaustion will not wane. The pain just gets worse. It's loss. Loss of a thing that I still possess.
But why? Why is this chemical reaction in my brain causing this physical ache in my heart - an ache caused by no more than an emotion? Why do I have to suffer this phantom pain from something that hasn't happened? What purpose does this serve?
You know what it feels like? It feels like guilt. That heavy weight on your chest. A feeling of loss and guilt that has no basis in reality.
Yet it brings me to tears.
Why?
Why?
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