Ache in my heart = ache in my head

Up at 3 AM because the pain in my head has reached another beautiful climaxing crescendo (redundancy = hyperbole) — and I'm hoping my theory is right.

I am a sufferer of SEVERE migraines. One of my attacks once lasted 10 days. I shit you not.

Now, my first migraine occurred when I was thirteen years old. At that time, I was going through some VERY serious mental health issues (depression, suicidal ideation, self-harm, the whole nine-yards) and suddenly, during a time when I was spending a few days with a good friend, BAM! Worst headache I'd ever experienced. It got to a point where I had to sit down because I literally could no longer stand up (redundancy = hyperbole = necessary). With each breath, each pounding thud of my heart, my head began to feel like a thousand-tonne dragon was throwing a tantrum inside it. It was a pain I would classify as a 23 on the 1-10 scale. I was praying I would pass out and eventually die so that the hurty-hurty would stop and I could breath again (... yes. I read that sentence and am satisfied with it.)

A few years later, I was on anti-psychotic medication. At that same time, Massive Headache (MH) numero dos attacked without warning — the night before my then-boyfriend's birthday party. I threw up, went to the emergency room, got some WONDERFUL make-feel-good-nice medicine and I was up and kicking on day two. I don't remember what those massive blue pills were; they had me on Cloud Nine.

From then on, the MH-debacle was on a steady incline (no, seriously, I graphed it) and the attacks became more frequent with each passing month. I can't put it down to how many days a month but I know I have an attack at least once a week ranging from a few hours to several days.

Now, I've scoured the Journals my University library pass-code gives me access to (peer-reviewed proper medicine journals, yes. I like to stay informed and WebMD can go fuck itself) and have come up with the prevailing theory: Serotonin level drops are the cause of my distress.

Going back down the graph, it seems to make sense. I am currently eating well and exercising but my moods are going South faster than (insert witty reference here). The link to my depressive episodes and my migraines are undeniable. My logic is undeniable. (<---- iRobot reference because when last did you watch that movie?)

So... where was I going with this?
Guess it doesn't matter. Just wanted to share a theory and vent some steam because my drugs are wearing off and my nausea/head pain/icky-stupid-head-butt-burn-brain-meh is returning with alarming alacrity. (Ha! Just made you look in a dictionary. You're welcome.)

Eh... I need some tea... and then sleep... then...

... fuck it, I'm going back to bed.

^_^