Why I hate Summer

"Oh, God. Look at her. She must be boiling in that."
"Why doesn't she wear a dress? She looks like a man."
"Doesn't she know it's Summer?"

Technically, projected voices in my head, it's Spring. That being said, I realise that it is almost 30 degrees outside and that I am wearing jeans, takkies and a hoodie. I realise that all you beautiful girls with your long blonde hair are wearing shirts as dresses and don't seem to understand that that's the reason the boys are whistling at you.

Still, I digress. Has it not perhaps occurred to you, projected voices in my head, that the reason I chose to cover as much of my skin as possible is because it's mine and I don't like people staring at it?

The chance of you seeing my feet in anything but boots, trainers or sneakers is due to the fact that I have very small toes. Not only that; whatever being decided to create me, be it God or Mother Nature, thought it would be funny to put a little bundle of hairs on my big toe. Not peach fluff like the stuff that grows on my upper lip but long, black hair.

Moving upwards, we find shins that haven't been shaved since my boyfriend left the country because I DO NOT HAVE THE EMOTIONAL STRENGTH TO SHAVE THEM. So fuck you.

My thighs are nice and round, with the perfect amount of cellulite and stretch marks - perfect, that is, for ridicule.

My stomach is a little pudgy from days where I can only find bread in the house to eat. (Well, that or cabbage and I can tell you now which one I prefer). Also, there's that damn scar that runs from my bellybutton to my waistband, the one that left a half-inch dent in my abdomen because the scar tissue has got stuck to my abdominal lining. But that one's the surgeon's fault. Stupid fucker put saving my life over aesthetic pleasantries. Bastard.

Then there is the fine layer of fuzz on my forearms and the noodle-like shaping of my upper arms. Those don't need to see the light of day. They have enough freckles on them already.

So that, projected voices in my head, is why I feel more comfortable in my jeans, takkies and hoodie. That, my friends, is why I won't be joining you in Summer.